World Cup 2014 Brazil - Wake me when it is over

The World Cup of Footie begins in just a few days in Brazil. Get your tv ready for this by blocking any channel that may show anything related to this monstrosity so you don't accidentally stumble upon a game and have the batteries die on your remote and you are subjected to any part of a match.

Right off the top lets ask the question of why is it known as The Beautiful Game? What is beautiful about this game? Aside from some of the fans and/or cheerleaders I can't say as I see it.

Thursday, June 12 the home team opens the tournament in a match versus Croatia. Lets not kid ourselves, there are a lot of people in North America and abroad that are jacked up for this tournament. I have no idea why but for whatever reason, reasonably smart people lose their mind and start to invest an interest in this event. This is without a doubt one of the most corrupt sports in the world, next to cycling and the Superbowl of that sport the Tour de France.
I don't know what would be worse, having to endure watching this tournament or having to listen to the Vuvuzela's that became quasi famous in South Africa last World Cup and thankfully banned at the tournament this year.

Please people, do not become that person who thinks this is the be all and end all and start to adopt footie language over the next month. Do everyone a favour and don't start breaking out the soccer speak like you are a British announcer. Nobody wants to hear that a team is getting ready to enter 'the pitch' for 'a match' and they need 'a result'. The game ends zero-zero, not nil-nil. Extra time vs injury time. Earning a Cap, Holding it (for stoppage time) are other terms that can be added to this list as well. The whole thing is just redickulous, don't become soccer guy or gal. Also don't give into the desire to indulge in orange slices as a snack at half time. Above all else remember it is Soccer not Fùtbol.

Just because you happened to fly over Italy or Spain or went to France one time does not make it OK to run out and get car flags of those country's car flags and adopt them as 'your team'. Just be thankful that the Canadian Men's National team is so bad that they did not qualify and that you don't have to be conflicted about having to support them just because they are representing Canada at this event.

The next biggest issue is that we are getting close to summer and that is when a lot of movie blockbusters are set to hit theaters and yet they will all pale in comparison to the acting that will be going on during this event known as the World Cup. Players, will be hitting the turf, flopping to the ground like they have been assaulted with violent blows like a scene from Saving Private Ryan or 300. Flipping and doing somersaults in the air to sell the fact that an opponent has come withing 2 feet of them and they have been violently assaulted should not be an accepted part of this game. The art of the fake soccer injury is as important  to learn as that of any other skill, trick or move involved in the sport. The game has tried to clean up the image of it being know as that of a game of fakers and embellishers, lets see just how successful they have been.

The only good that can come from this World Cup of Soccer thing is the chance to get some nice new beer glasses. Kelsey's will hook you up with a nice Budweiser glass with the purchase of a pint. The only problem is you have to sell your soul to get one as they are only available during soccer games. So likely you will be subjected to some footie to cash in on this. It is of personal discretion on if you can stand that or willing to subject yourself to that kind of cruel and unusual punishment.

For a better perspective on this what better resource is there then The Simpsons.

First Sens Game Of The Year

After attending the Ottawa-Montreal pre-season game on Saturday night there are a few things that I have learned:

~Most Montreal fans are obnoxious, not all, that would be wrong to say as I know some good guys that like the team. Knowledgable fans are ok but seem to be in the minority. Heck before he Sens came along I have to say the were my favotite team. Maybe it is more the natives from that province that are the problem.

~ There are few things more annoying then stupid fans that don't know when and more importantly when not to sing the Ole Ole chant.

~ Full parking price for pre-season games should not be enforced

~ It is pre-season for everyone...especially the lady at the concession stand who had a lot of trouble working her cash register, pouring beer, giving back not only the correct change but any change at all ,and most importantly, there is in fact a difference between Canadian and Coors Light and when one orders a Coors they in fact would prefer a Coors. Granted a beer is a beer and not something to be wasted but when it comes to personal preference getting what you ordered would be a nice touch.

~ The free Pizza at Pizza Pizza only apparently applies for a 24hour period...therefore a Saturday night 6-1 is good for pizza on Sunday not Monday as well. Even if their pizza isn't that good to begin with, when you expect a free slice it is disappointing when there is no pizza to be found.
Now I am just hungry and bitter

~ The line of Mike Fisher Peter Regan and Nick Foligno proved to look pretty good. If Regan can stick with the club we may have a nice little line combo, If not maybe Nick and Mike can work well as a combo.

~ Erik Karlsson was a + 3 and looked not at all out of place. He seemed to handle the puck as well or better then any of the other Sens blue liners - him making the team may not be a bad thing at all

~ Erik Karlsson may make the team....Brian Lee is in tough to make the team out of camp as he was a) not drafted by the Murrays b)He is on a 2 way contract C) there are a lot of bodies already on the back end and d) his mane isn't Marc Staal...the player they should have drafted with the 9th pick that year

~Sitting in good seats kind of spoils you, especially when you know the next time you go to a game it will be up in the 300's again, wedged in like you are in a can of sardines...without the oil

~ Most importantly when you take a broad to the game and she wants to go meet up with a friend for a minute in another section for the love of god go to the washroom first before she leaves. If you don't you will be stuck standing in the hallway holding a very effeminate Teal purse doing a little dance in one place in extreme agony waiting for said person to return. Not to mention missing the beginning of the final period...lesson learned I suppose... but let me assure you I am no further ahead for gaining this knowledge after I needed to know it.

All in all a good experience for the first game of the season. Hopefully I will be able to get to more and they will be good games. Taking in games in person is always a good time.