Sunday, September 14, 2008

MLS in Ottawa? Noooooooooooooo!

Tuesday looks to be a sad day for Ottawa Sports. Ottawa Senators owner Eugene Melnyk will officially announce his bid for a Major League Soccer franchise at a press conference. The first time Mr. Melnyk came onto the Ottawa scene he came in on a white horse and saved the Ottawa Senators from bankruptcy. Sure it was probably a decent investment for him but he also got a great deal...buy low right? In any event he was a hero.The Sens have enjoyed much success in his time as the owner, perhaps not the ultimate success in terms of the Stanley Cup but great consistency. Well that good will that he earned has dried up in my mind with this new news. Melnyk, who has revealed plans to build a "world-class" stadium in Ottawa, had previously stated his intention to go after a franchise, which will cost at least $40 million US. Sure this is a very big long shot right now and won’t be an issue for some time and many years now, as there are many cites that are sure to be well ahead of Ottawa (including Canadian Cities Vancouver and Montreal) but just the prospect of a dirty soccer team coming to town pains me. It isn’t the money, the stadium issue or the Soccer team itself (although I have made it very clear that I have little or no use for soccer at any level, at any time), it would be the “fans”. That is all we need is some wannabe wanker posers thinking they are in Liverpool or something trying to emulate what garbage they see on Saturday mornings on Sportsnet. Heads up on hoodlums in the streets, urine bombs from the top level, projectiles thrown about flair's shot from the stands and just all around unruly behavior in the stands.Then of course part 2 of the negatives that would come with an MLS team...the soccer itself. There would be chaos..there would be the oranges shortage that would come due to the halftime snacks, stretchers would become in high demand as they would be used for all the embellished injuries each game and who knows what else. You want to see soccer become a Toronto FC fan and go to Toronto to see a game.

And here are some examples from where no one can dispute...
The Simpsons:

Announcer: This match will decide which nation is the greatest on Earth: Mexico or Portugal!

TV Announcer: You'll see all your favorite soccer stars. Like Ariaga! Ariaga II! Bariaga! Aruglia! And Pizzoza!
Homer: Oh, I never heard of those people.
TV Announcer: And they'll all be signing autographs!
Homer: Woo-hoo!

Mexican Announcer: Halfback passes to center, back to wing, back to center, center holds it! Holds it! Holds It!

Just Say No to the MLS, we are all better off without it.

1 comment:

observationsofanewsjunkie said...

Oooh, gotta disagree with you on this one. I would definitely go watch MLS games in Ottawa ... that would be sweet. I don't want to drive to Toronto to watch a good soccer game.